I’m not sure I will ever be a totally “Deschooled” adult and parent. After all, I went through the mainstream schooling system just like most people. Over the years, I have let go of many of the beliefs I carried around education, parenting and even how to be on this planet. These beliefs were instilled in me as a young person by my parents, society, and schooling. I was taught how I should be, and what I should do to be a successful human being.


Now I understand, that “Successful” actually meant “Obedience”, this is what schools really teach us. To be successful we are told we need to pass all the tests and exams in school, so we can get into college and pass more tests and exams, then we might get a job and if we work really, really hard we will get promoted and get rich. The more money we have, the more stuff we buy, and the more stuff we have, the more successful society tells us we are.


It’s a lie we have been told since we were children and I still carry part of that lie within me. It shows up in all the fears and doubts about whether I am doing the right thing by unschooling our children. It torments me with images of our children growing up to be unemployable, penniless and miserable but as horrible as these images are, I keep reminding myself of one thing….I am not deschooled. I can’t even imagine what our children might do with their lives because it is beyond my imagination. I was never shown a different way to live outside the mainstream ideology of what life should look like.


Deschooling is a continuous process of unlearning and it may take me a lifetime to achieve, but at least our children will be there to show me the way.

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4 thoughts on “Deschooling Ourselves

  1. Well said, Luminara. I, too, have difficulty with that. Despite the fact that my older 3 have college degrees and good jobs. I am adventuring making a living online, wherever I happen to be. My youngest is going to be starting his homeschool high school program, whatever that entails, this summer. And yet, I worry. It is our nature as parents, I think, and helps keep us accountable. After all, if they can read and handle finances, they will be able to sort the rest out.

  2. Oh Luminara, my tummy says thank you for “seeing”
    all of us, regardless of age, as people who know “stuff”
    already, and given the emotional and physical space
    to be who we are, and be “seen,” all children, regardless
    of age will grow taller into who they are already. You are
    a gift to the world. Me too.

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